Before I started tutoring, I occasionally heard from parents of both sons and daughters that gender differences are already apparent during childhood. It was not until I began teaching kids writing and had to figure out ways to hold a child’s attention, however, that I began to grasp what makes boys tick really does differ from what makes girls tick. This discovery makes me prize my status as a private tutor even more. If I taught in an institutional setting, I might be forced to push a gender ideology that is at odds with my personal beliefs and observations, which would compromise my ability to teach with authenticity.

I had previously shared my thoughts on the unique challenges of teaching boys reading and writing. (https://pulsehknews.com/how-to-study-shakespeare-and-not-hate-it/; https://pulsehknews.com/onward-and-upward%ef%bd%9cis-the-exam-system-stacked-against-boys/; https://thechasernews.co.uk/your-book-is-sxxx/ ). I have not to date done the same for girls, mainly because I happen to mentor more boys than girls, and therefore have more experience with the former. This doesn’t mean I personally find it less interesting to teach students who share my gender. Some mothers have complained to me that their daughters are sexualizing themselves in their manner of dress far too early, which got me thinking, why not fight fire with fire? Why not work with their preoccupation with appearance by offering them, through reading and writing, with visions of womanhood that differ from what they typically see on social media?

Below is an example of such an effort. I know I succeeded because while watching me write about the exploits of elegant, sophisticated women, my girl student oohed and ahhed continuously, finally declaring enthusiastically at the end of her lesson “One day I want to be like them too!”

“Write a letter persuading your parents to buy you a present”

What do high-profile female political figures like Pamela Harriman (the one-time US Ambassador to France), Huma Abedin (Hillary Clinton’s longtime assistant),  and Anson Chan (former Chief Secretary of Hong Kong) have in common?

In addition to being worldly and accomplished, they are also smashingly stylish. Harriman trained herself to do her daily swims without getting her bouffant hairdo wet, so that she could always be camera-ready; Abedin has the knack of eating pizza without ever ruining her lipstick; Chan is so keen to look polished at all times that once, in the middle of taking part in a street protest, she popped into a hair salon to get her hair done. (https://www.epochtimes.com/b5/7/10/10/n1862453.htm )

It is therefore a matter of urgency that you buy me a life-sized Barbie styling head. I could then style it any way I like using the combs and curlers that come with the set. From dolling up the Barbie, it’s only a short step to being able to doll myself up. Hillary Clinton complained in her memoirs that when she was campaigning for president, she had to spend 600 hours getting her hair and makeup done by professionals. (https://www.newsweek.com/hillary-clinton-spent-600-hours-campaign-makeup-because-gender-expectations-672514 ) Just think of the time and money I would be able to save if, by the time I reach adulthood, my DIY hairstyling skills, honed by years of playing with Barbie, are already good enough to give me salon-perfect hair every day.

People criticise 邱淑貞 for parading her gorgeous daughter at parties instead of making sure she is well-educated. You wouldn’t want to go to the other extreme of demanding that I study without caring whether I have the means to make myself look poised and presentable.

Michelle Ng

英國牛津大學畢業，前《蘋果日報》和《眾新聞》專欄作家，現在身在楓葉國，心繫中國大陸和香港。

聯絡方式： michelleng.coach@proton.me
個人網站： https://michellengwritings.com